write me a lullaby

You said I’ll miss you and I said K.

Fall in and out of love,

Lose and rediscover your faith in humanity,

Trust a stranger and doubt a friend,

Dream a little too big and fall short,

It doesn’t matter.

What matters is you. You make the choices you make, you do the things you do, and it will turn out okay.

They’re right.
I know they are.
and you should know it too.
It’s 2:39 and I’m up.
I’m up because I’m thinking about you.
I’m thinking of ways to hurt.
But you’ve never hurt me.
I’m wishing you the worst.
It’s 2:40 and I’m wishing for you.
I want you to want me.
I want you to worry about whether or not I’m with someone else.
I want you to wonder why I’ve been weird.
I want you to wonder where I am.
I just want you.
It’s 2:41 and I’m done wishing for you for tonight.

That you make me second option,
I hate that I let you.
I hate that no matter what I do it’s always going to be you.
I hate that you’re so nice to me.
I hate that you get to be hot and cold with me.
I hate that you made a home in my heart and just walk in and out as often as you please.

I wouldn’t say I am sick,

But I wouldn’t say I’m okay.

I wouldn’t say I’m scared,

But I wouldn’t say I’m ready.

I wouldn’t say I love you,

But I would lie to you.

To the drunks:
To the drunk boy who cannot seem to find his friends and is falling into a bush,
To the drunk girl who is sitting in her bed crying because going out was too much,
To the drunk boy who is punching a wall as hard as he can,
To the drunk girl screaming bloody murder and throwing her phone,
To the drunk boy stumbling down the hallway in his boxers,
To the drunk girl doing the walk of shame in her heels,
To the drunk boy who is lying outside pondering life,
To the drunk girl lying in the hallway explaining life,
To the two drunk lovers in bed together,
To the two drunk friends making out,
To the drunks after midnight, may advil and water find you tonight and may the regrets be minimal.

He was like cold rain on a hot summer night.
He was like the first firefly to be caught when it became firefly season.
He was like the first foot in the ocean.
He was like the stars at the beach.
He was like the long drive down the turnpike while the sun was setting.
He was breathtaking, but always fleeting.